Faith and courage

First today I considered myself strong enough to see the Lara Lee's footage. That was difficult. Made me cry. I remember the man who said to me at four o'clock that nothing was about to happen, just the morning prayer. The peace and the determination in his face.

I see for the first time how people were praying to their God when the attack started, and that there were a few with peace of heart enough to finnish their prayers before taking their places at the defense. I am not a believer, but that was what I saw, that night in the face of the vigilant outside: superhuman courage and peace of heart.

People here are disgusted by the talk about shahids, martyrs, that was uttered at the burial in Istanbul. Yet it is a human thing to try to make sense of death, especially when it is violent and unjust. Secular as I am, I say that they are my heroes. Armed only with love and faith, meeting the elite commandos of the Israeli army who were playing their usual game: assaulting defenseless people from a distance, disproportionately armed (or armed proportionately to the unjustice of their cause), murdering, sawing fear and terror, lying systematically, fearing the least resistance, using sharp ammunition out of fear to be beaten, out of fear of meeting their own violence on their own bodies, fearing their humanity. It's not only that their cowardice makes them lethal, they try then to compensate it by humiliating their victims. By humiliating us when we sit on our knees wearing handcuffs. And even then they are fearful. Fearful of themselves, I think. They are suspicious of everything, and don't trust anything because they think we are the same as them. That if we could we would do the same things to them, that like everything they say, everyting we say is a lie. But it is not. We have nothing to hide, we don't fear the truth and because of that we don't fear our fate. We can endure their violence and their humiliations and yet keep our humanity.

I can look you straight in your eyes, soldiers. I am not ashamed. You cover your face. And still you cannot stand my look. It is a provocation to you. When I look in your eyes, silently, I am like a mirror. And I see your shame. You know. And you know that I know. Why did you participate in this? Still you can try to be brave, and try to safe your humanity. You are young. You can relearn truth, justice and love.

Look at this film. Try to see. Is this the "enemy" that you have constructed in your head? Try to listen. Civilians, who struggle for an unjustly sieged population, waiting for an attack that shouldn't have taken place. We were not harming you. In fact we are trying to save you from the psychotic world which you inhabit.


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